Ithaka of the Clouds team announces new DLC

The owners of the Kyratzes Corporation are very pleased to announce that their upcoming game Ithaka of the Clouds, successfully crowdfunded earlier this year, will expand its unique gameplay with groundbreaking, innovative DLC that will change gaming forever. This innovative, groundbreaking DLC, perfectly designed for the needs of our core customer base as well as casual players, will add several new features that we just know will totally amaze you.Our company motto: we just want your money and don't give a shit about art.

The colour blue. Previously unavailable to all except those who bought the game via the special Red Edition available in select watermelons around the world, the colour blue will significantly expand the game’s palette, giving you a completely new, groundbreakingly innovative experience.

We're all about the words.

 Words™. A unique, innovative concept based on the generation of meaning from parsing groups of symbols associated with sounds, this groundbreaking gameplay experience will add a whole new level of excitement – especially to the endgame!

Yeah, plus five baby!+5 mushrooms! Nuff said!

Easy Target For Satire - 4/5

30 new achievements, to make up for the lack of achievement you feel as you toil under the horrid conditions of late capitalism make your life even more funner!

 And that’s just the beginning!

  • Now compatible with 3D devices! You can play the game on any three-dimensional device that is also a PC, while using controllers that exist in three-dimensional space, like the mouse or the keyboard. (Doesn’t support touchpads and overly flat tablets.)
  • Due to popular demand, Ithaka of the Clouds will now include microtransactions. Using our fictional currency of “drachmas”, you will be able to purchase a variety of special items, including the Plot Overdrive, which will take you directly to the end of the game without the need to experience the story or interact with anything except the IthakaStore®.
  • Finally, with the cooperation of the Greek government, we have implemented a special algorithm that will adapt the meaning of Cavafy’s poetry, which is a major source of inspiration for this entry in the Lands of Dream franchise, to suit the needs of our beloved ruling class and their unique allies in the innovatively groundbreaking criminal/fascist crossover scene.

All these features and many more will be included in the DLC, entitled Violence Is A Dangerous Thing Except When It Upholds Our Authority: Dawn of the Sun of the Patriots Who Really Aren’t Thugs At All: Fall of Wargrind: Operation Grim Corridor (Quirky Indie Edition), which will come included with all versions of the game and can quickly be unlocked with an online blood sacrifice or 300 “drachmas”.

Day-one free-to-play DLC for hardcore casual indie AAA gamers.

COMING AT SOME POINT IN 2014

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12 Comments

  1. Frankie

     /  November 30, 2013

    But I still don’t know whether or not it’s innovative!

  2. Iurii

     /  November 30, 2013

    Wow!
    I especially love microtransactions. Everybode loves them. Just imagine a library in Ithaka full of books – with the possibility to buy one book at a time to actually read. Now the cat is going to get some tuna after all.

  3. But will there be visceral combat? Also, I’m not sold on the colour blue thing. It definitely needs more muddy browns.

  4. Raf

     /  November 30, 2013

    Wow indeed! This sounds like a great opportunity for me to start speculating in these “drachmas” and profit from the market inefficiencies in exchanging drachmas for blood sacrifices!

  5. Dyvim

     /  November 30, 2013

    I can’t wait!
    Finally a company that plans to make decent DLC.

  6. GOTY

    Cannot wait for release day.

  7. Sam

     /  November 30, 2013

    How can I convert to Kyratzes Kash to drachmas?

    • admin

       /  November 30, 2013

      How can I convert to Kyratzes Kash to drachmas?

      There’s an app for that.

      But will there be visceral combat?

      In the next DLC.

      But I still don’t know whether or not it’s innovative!

      Yes, but in a safe way that doesn’t question any existing economic structures.

  8. I demand that this DLC be a crowd-funding exclusive for Indiegogo backers, just like EA does with pre-order bonuses. Also, please include an exclusive firearm and badge I can show off during multiplayer. I would settle for a dog in the upcoming Lands of Dream MMOFPS, if her AI is realistic enough.

  9. LoveMachine674

     /  December 2, 2013

    Snowmobile confirmed! 😀

  10. Joseph

     /  December 5, 2013

    Hopefully there will be a season pass.

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